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Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner that I'm a rubbish neighbour

Bigmouth

A NEW survey has shown that Londoners are the worst when it comes to being good neighbours - which is not a big surprise.

The National Housing Federation (NHF) has found that only 31 per cent talk to their neighbours on most days.

I'm surprised it was as much as that considering how Cockneys reckon they are a cut above.

Cockneys are a rude, ill-mannered, arrogant, ego-tistical, self-centred, know-it-all, bone idle and standoffish bunch of no marks.

So there's no reason why living next door to them should be any good.

They look down at people from other areas as if they are inferior - although they've never had the bottle to do anything themselves.

Cockneys want it all on their doorstep. Jobs, pubs, shops - they don't like travelling too far.

And because of the way the country is biased towards the capital, that's just how they get most things.

EastEnders is a work of fiction but some of the basic points - everybody works and socialises within a short distance of their home - are the ideal situation for your average born and bred Londoner.

Travelling a couple of streets is too much for Cockneys who are more provincial than people in the real provinces.

The NHF survey also found that Londoners are the least satisfied with their lives.

I don't believe that. A short walk to work, a pub within staggering distance and some pie and mash when you get in. What more could a Cockney thicko want?

7:36am Tuesday 23rd September 2003

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